


"He Does Kickboxing"

by baloobird



Series: Ace Irondad and Spiderson [22]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Peter Parker, BAMF Peter Parker, Biromantic Peter Parker, Bisexual Michelle Jones, Bisexual Ned Leeds, Bullying (mentioned), Canon-Typical Violence, Flash Thompson Redemption, Gen, Identity Reveal, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Multi, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Polyamory, Protective Michelle Jones, Protective Ned Leeds, Protective Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26139598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baloobird/pseuds/baloobird
Summary: Peter, Ned, and MJ have their first night on the town in months but none of them expected to come upon a mugging in progress.Or recognizing who's being mugged.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Flash Thompson, Michelle Jones/Ned Leeds/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Flash Thompson, Ned Leeds/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Flash Thompson
Series: Ace Irondad and Spiderson [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750639
Comments: 23
Kudos: 270
Collections: mcu stories that slap





	"He Does Kickboxing"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [canonismybitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/canonismybitch/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTSE, I HOPE IT'S AN AMAZING ONE, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
> 
> I really hope you (and everyone of course) enjoys this!! She requested an identity reveal, Flash redemption, and a Peter, Ned, and MJ OT3 and OMG THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN, MY DUDE!!!! 
> 
> ***Trigger Warning: mentions of bullying and discrimination against polyamorous relationships, canon-typical violence that I promise is not graphic

“Peter, how do you always get food on your shirt, you literally have sticky powers.”

 _“Pardon me,_ MJ, but why would I use my sticky powers just to eat pizza?”

“If you want any chance to save your shirts, maybe you should start.”

It is Saturday night and Peter, Ned, and MJ just finished their date, strutting through the busy streets of Queens while basking in the moonlight.

It’s been a while since they had a night like this.

Sure, they have their share of study dates, even a few movie nights here and there. But this weekend, they finished their homework before the wee hours of Monday morning for once so tonight, they could finally let loose in the form of garlic bread and the best pizza in Queens.

Peter wraps his arms around his boyfriend and girlfriend as they continue laughing past the shops, making a spontaneous decision to head toward a park that’s nearby.

“But if I use my sticky powers on pizza, wouldn’t it stick even more?” he says with a chuckle.

Ned answers the rhetorical question, “Knowing your luck, it probably will. You’ve ruined so many shirts you might as well start making it a fashion statement.”

“He does,” MJ quips from the hero’s left, “Every day after lunch.”

“You guys are _meeeean,”_ Peter says sarcastically, frowning in a way that shows it’s all in jest, “Maybe I should start spilling everything all over _you.”_ His mouth forms into a cheeky smile as he looks back and forth between them, nudging them just enough that they giggle in return.

“Careful what you wish for, Ned’s into that,” MJ says, raising an eyebrow at the teen in question.

The spiderling lets go of the two of them, walking a few steps ahead as he cringes, “And that is why _you guys_ have the sex and _I_ keep a hundred-mile radius.”

Ned busts out laughing, “Relax, foodstuff grosses me out -”

MJ cuts in, “Except honey.” She playfully nudges the “Guy in the Chair”, giving him a coy smile, “Y’know what I wanna do later?”

Her boyfriend giggles while grabbing her hand, their fingers perfectly intertwining, “Hell yeah -”

“Oh my God, TMI,” Peter cuts him off, laughing despite himself. That is the most he _ever_ wants to hear about their sex life, adding another reason to love donning the asexual Spider-Man suit.

And keeping that “hundred-mile radius.”

He blocks out the continued mumblings from his boyfriend and girlfriend, stepping a few more paces away when he freezes, stopping in his tracks.

_“I don’t have any money, I swear!”_

Peter immediately looks forward, putting all of his energy on figuring out where that outburst came from.

_“Stop squirming you little shit!”_

The hero takes off running. He hears shouts from the other teenagers but it never registers.

_“Let go of me!”_

The boy’s eyes squint in confusion, now pinpointing the source.

_Why does that voice sound familiar, what the fuck?_

Finally, the hero arrives at the alleyway, peeking around the corner and his eyes widening at what he sees.

Flash Thompson.

Flash is being held at gunpoint by three people, their faces covered with ski masks and one black-gloved hand wrapped around the teen’s neck. His back is pressed tight against the concrete wall, any more so and the kid could disappear onto “Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.”

Peter sees red. 

At this moment, he doesn’t think about the years of taunting, bullying, or Flash going out of his way to state how “unnatural” it is for three people to be in a relationship. 

He’s just a kid himself, he doesn’t deserve this.

 _No one_ deserves this.

Without stopping to think, Peter rushes toward them, slapping the gun away so fast that everyone has to do a double-take.

In Flash’s case, a _triple_ -take.

The hero sees his classmate out of the corner of his eye, no doubt confused by what this seemingly scrawny teenager just did.

“Let him go!” Peter shouts, his stance confident, determined. 

_Angry._

“Or what?” the robber says, tone mocking as the others join in with the leader’s laughter.

“Or this.” The web-slinger punches the leader square in the nose, watching in satisfaction as the man is knocked unconscious. 

A whimper escapes Flash, staring at the fellow teenager in absolute awe. Peter can’t help but smirk; for the first time since elementary school, the bully has been rendered speechless.

Using the spidey sense to his advantage, the hero hears the second robber take a gun out of the back of his pants, kicking it out of sight before the mugger takes the chance to aim.

“What the fu -” the masked man starts but another punch by the kid sends him down for the count.

“Behind you!” Flash shouts at the fellow student but the spiderling could already sense it, giving the third guy a punch that sends him _flying._

Much too powerful for anyone to assume that Peter has been taking secret karate classes.

The hero takes a deep breath as he takes in his surroundings, slowly calming down at seeing the situation abated. He hears a “Holy shit” said and his head snaps to his right, eyes bugging out when everything clicks.

_Oh shit._

_“Parker luck” never gets old._

Flash is now on the ground, his knees curled up to his chest and staring at his peer as if he just grew fangs. He actually looks _scared_ of him.

Peter could explain his way out of this but there’s no point, Flash isn’t stupid.

No kickboxing class in the world would ever cause someone to soar ten feet from a single punch.

Peter swallows hard and steadies himself, preparing to walk over to Flash while putting on a soft demeanor but his enhanced hearing picks up distant footsteps. He puts himself back into defense-mode but relaxes at the realization that his spidey sense isn’t present. Seconds later, Ned and MJ appear at the head of the alley, both out of breath and panicky at what’s before them.

 _“Peter?”_ Ned exclaims as he walks towards his boyfriend, pointedly looking at him and not the bad guys still on the ground, “Babe, what the fuck, you’re not in your suit - oh shit.” He stops dead in his tracks, his cheeks heating up in horror at seeing his tormentor.

“Suit?” Flash asks frantically, looking back and forth between the couple, “What suit?”

“Y’know, a suit,” MJ says, catching up to the others, “With a tie.”

“What the fuck does a fucking tie gotta do with _that?”_ Flash points at the three unconscious men, looking up at his savior, “What the fuck did you do -”

“Flash, it’s okay -” Peter starts but the bully cuts him off.

“Are you crazy?! You can’t climb a rope in P.E. but you knocked out three guys without breaking a sweat? Who _are_ you?”

Ned comes to his boyfriend’s defense, “Look, I get you’re in shock right now, dude -”

“Guys,” the spider-boy interjects, gaze locked on his partners as he says defeatedly, “Call the police before they wake up.”

MJ’s eyes widen, taking a step forward, “Babe -”

“It’s okay,” Peter responds, smiling despite the crippling anxiety for what he’s about to confess.

And who he has to confess this to.

Ned gently grabs his girlfriend’s hand, giving his other partner a sympathetic look before the two of them walk away, MJ’s phone at the ready as they disappear around the corner.

“What’s okay?” Flash asks, snapping the fellow student out of his stupor, “How in the fuck is _any_ of this okay -?”

 _“Flash,”_ Peter says, voice sharp as he kneels in front of the other boy, keeping a wide enough distance in case the assailants wake up, “Are you okay?”

“I -” the bully cuts himself off, his face slacking as the shock wears off, “Yeah,” he says quietly, gaze locked on his lap behind his knees, “Yeah…thanks to you.”

“You sure? You’re not hurt or anything, are you, we can take you to the hospital -”

“No,” Flash’s head jerks straight up to meet the other’s, “I’m fine, honestly. They didn’t even take anything, you showed up just in time.” He shyly rubs his neck, the red marks already turning into what will undoubtedly be a gnarly bruise, “Um, thank you, but what the fuck, dude? What are you, some kind of alien?”

“Close,” the hero says, snickering at the almost perfect guess, “Uh, so um,” he takes another look at the robbers, not having budged since the altercation, to his relief, “I’m Spider-Man.”

He takes an extra second to look anywhere but at his tormentor, not ready to see the shock that’s definitely crossed his face. But what he doesn’t expect to hear is a burst of laughter.

Peter looks at the other teen, eyebrows squinting in both offense and confusion, “You think it’s funny?” he snaps.

“Yeah, that you’d think I’d believe something like that, you think I’m stupid -?” 

The spiderling cuts him off a punch.

Not at the kid, of course. Instead, he punches the building Flash is leaning against, his head now resting right next to a dent.

A _dent._

Peter Parker made a crater in a concrete building.

Flash jerks his head away from the dent, releasing an unexpected shriek as he scoots away from the other boy.

“You believe me now?” Peter asks, fist resting in the center of this circle and showing off his still unharmed hand.

“Uh-huh,” the bully takes a few breaths, looking back and forth between gaping dip and the kid that caused it, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Would you've believed me if I told you I did kickboxing?” the spider-boy says, a smirk making itself known.

“Uh,” Flash takes a couple of seconds to look said teen up and down, “Okay, probably not.”

Both teenagers unexpectedly start laughing, Peter sitting down fully and leaning against the wall himself.

“Oh my God,” the dark-haired teen says, “You’re fucking Spider-Man.”

“I’m Spider-Man but I’m not fucking _anyone,”_ Peter says with a silly grin.

“Huh?” Flash asks, shaking his head, “Y’know what, whatever, I can’t think.” He puts his head in his hands, raking his fingers through his hair, “Penis Parker is Spider-Man, Penis fucking Parker is Spider-Man.”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

“But why?” The bully lifts his head, eyes meeting his peer’s, “Why’d you save me?”

“Look, I may hate you and sometimes dream about webbing you to the school flagpole in your underwear but if I let what happened tonight slide,” Peter’s tone lowers exponentially, “I don’t deserve to be called a ‘superhero.’”

A tenseness circles the two of them, neither one knowing what to say next. The web-slinger hears sirens in the distance and has this inkling it’s for them, “Police are coming, everything’s gonna be okay -”

“Thank you.”

Peter locks eyes with the other teen, seeing how relieved he is, the fear no longer in his eyes.

How _grateful_ he looks.

The hero simply shrugs, trying and failing not to smile, “So, you wanna get ice cream with us? I promise, we won’t fourth-wheel you.”

“Oh my God,” Flash can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, sounds good.” He then gestures to the fallen muggers, “Don’t I gotta stick around and give a statement or something?”

“Oh yeah, shit, I’m not in my suit. They’re not gonna ask many questions, just what happened. The more detailed questions are gonna be asked at the police station.”

“Great,” the civilian says sarcastically, “You’re sticking around too, right?”

“I have to, I did this.”

Two police cruisers pull up at the head of the alley, Ned and MJ peeking around in curiosity as four officers come upon the scene. Two policemen load the robbers into their car while the remaining authority figures ask the predictable questions, the final one being, “Kid, how in the _hell_ did you take all of them out by yourself?”

“Uh -” Peter says but the other boy interrupts.

“He does kickboxing. It was pretty badass, you should’ve seen it.”

The officer looks back and forth between the two of them before shaking her head and concluding with, “We’ll be in touch.” After taking Ned’s and MJ’s statements, she and her partner then leave the scene, the two teenagers rushing down the alley and giving their boyfriend a group hug.

“You’re a dumbass for doing this without a suit,” Ned states, voice showing relief in contrast to what he said.

“I know, I know, but it’s okay, it all worked out.”

When the three of them separate, MJ charges at Flash, “If you think for one second about telling anyone, your ass is _mine_ -”

“No, no, no,” he says, holding his hands up in mock surrender, “I promise, I won’t. Why would I do that, he just saved my life -”

“Swear,” MJ commands, “On your parents’ lives, swear.”

Peter exclaims, “MJ -”

“Peter,” Ned says, “How can we trust him if he doesn’t do this -”

“Alright, alright, I’m doing it,” Flash says, “I swear on my parents I won’t say a word.”

“Good.” MJ straightens, backing away from the other boy, “So…what happens now?”

“I told him he could get ice cream with us,” Peter says.

Ned asks in confusion, “We’re getting ice cream?”

 _“Yeah,”_ his boyfriend responds, “With all this badassery, I need sugar or I’ll _die.”_ He turns to Flash, “What d’ya say, man?”

“Uh -” said boy cuts himself off with a defeated shrug, “Sure.”

“Wait,” Ned says, stepping towards the teen in question, “You really wanna hang out with us _unnaturals?”_

“Okay, okay,” Flash says, “Yeah, that was a dick move.”

“As long as you admit it,” MJ says, wrapping an arm around the hero’s bicep.

With one last look at Flash, Ned’s mouth upticks into a half-smile, wrapping an arm around the other’s shoulders and leading them out of the alleyway, “Now I won’t be the odd one out with my own side of the booth.”

“I still don’t get it though.”

“Flash?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Sorry.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! I'm also on tumblr @baloobird


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